After attempts to postpone the game until the 12th of July failed, Almaty face John Q. Whitfords's "Whitfords FC", sponsored by Whitfords, in Match Day 7 of the summer astro league tonight. This all-Protestant affair (at least judging by the silly posh names of the Whitford team) will be very tight, and I'm not just talking about who will buy the orange squash after.
Almaty have a near-fully fit squad to call from with 9 fit players and Alex, who is currently embroiled in a dispute with the Chairman over physio bills. Unfortunately, however, Alex has made himself available to play which means that Almaty guest-star Philly Smith will not be required to demonstrate how to play in midfield. There will be a collection before and after the match for Alex's physio bills but he is unlikely to get the Prods to part with their money.
Almaty will be sweating over the availability of "EssP", in case the "machines" "break down" again. Gav "Crouchy" Jefferiesy is hoping to shrug off a knee injury, while Jer "Safehands" Sweetnam is attempting to recover from depression caused by the prolonged absence of his girlfriend due to exams (though his "ball-handling" skills have somewhat improved in this period).
Questions have been raised over the security of the Catholic minority but they have been assured their human rights will be respected and they will be allowed to march down the mainly loyalist path from the car park.
There is concern over the form of "Lamps", "Tricks", "Gaffer" and "Tadhg" after an embarrassing defeat during Sunday's training session.
The team is meeting at 8.50pm, which is when Securicor are due to deliver Alex and release him from his cage. Alex has been preparing for the match by watching old Ian Paisley speeches and is reported to be in a state of extreme volatility ahead of the fixture. Fingers crossed we get the decent ref, not Grezgorz or any of the other clowns.
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