Week 12: Almaty Athletic 4 Pints 2

Almaty Athletic consolidated their grip on top-spot in another night of drama at the CIT Astropitch yesterday. Safehands Sweetnam made it back from Kilkenny so Gaffer was able to stay home to study for his European Computer Driving License. Axel Foley was the only other absentee, either working or on holiday or maybe on a working holiday.

Gav "Crouchy" Jeffery started on the bench with a view to unleashing him on an unsuspecting defence, while James "Insane Skill" Galvin was too traumatised by a recent stalking to start. Billy and Jim started at full-back, SP in the middle, Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtle Alex in midfield and the versatile Tadhger up front.

Safehands offers prayers to Allah
ahead of the crucial match

Since Pints bottled out of the first game, Almaty were not sure what to expect, but at least one of the Pints players looked familiar.. former Almaty striker John "Billy's Bro" Murphy lined out for the yellow-clad opposition..

Almaty tried to start patiently and get the passing game going but the fluency was lacking. There were a few half-chances, blazed over by Jim and Alex, before eventually the breakthrough came. Alex won the ball in midfield in typical bustling fashion, he surged through the middle and managed to retain composure and finish comfortably for a fine individual goal.

Almaty haven't had much luck this season and so it proved again tonight. A harmless effort from a Pints player caught a wicked deflection from one of the lads, and it looped into the far corner. 1-1, against the run of play. Almaty continued to try and play football and should have regained the lead just before half-time when great play by Gav found Lamps in a good position in the inside left-channel, but Lamps displayed no composure whatsoever and snatched at the chance. The stupid cunt.

Half-time came and went. Keep plugging away was the message. Galvin won the ball in defence and embarked on a trademark, insanely skilful run at the heart of the Pints defence before being cynically taken out of it. Grĕgôrçzs reached for the card and the Pints player departed with a torrent of abuse for our socio-economically disadvantaged refereeing friend. "Thank you!" said Grĕgôrçzs.

Despite the grief, the ref only left him off the pitch for about 29 seconds. Fortunately, this was enough time for Almaty to press home the advantage. Good play on the left eventually saw the ball squared to Billy. He seemed to have taken one touch too many, but he eventually slotted it past the advancing keeper to notch his first of the campaign. That leaves just Gaffer yet to score this season! Even Safehands has managed one.

With the breakthrough secured, Almaty relaxed and began to produce better football. Pints tired and Almaty could ping the ball about a bit more. The critical third goal came when Crouchy and Lamps linked up. Crouchy stepped over a ball from defence, Lamps took it forward before playing Crouchy in, and he pinged it home from an acute angle. There was some doubt about the goal but Crouchy was adamant and Grĕgôrçzs was convinced.

It was plain sailing from here on in. "Crouchy" continued his quest for the Golden Sock award by grabbing his second. SP fired in a rasper from distance, the keeper spilled it, and after a brief search, "Crouchy" located the loose ball and accepted the gift.

Pints grabbed a consolation at the death when Grĕgôrçzs lost the plot. Billy smacked an attempted clearance off Lamps' hand, which was at his side, from a distance of about 1 foot. Grĕgôrçzs pointed to the spot. "In my country, this is, how you say, foul? Nyeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss..." he said in broken, hesitant English. Alex stepped up to take the spotter but in the end left it for the Pints striker. He scored, Grĕgôrçzs blew the whistle, but if it comes down to goal difference the immigration authorities will paying our Eastern Amigo a visit...

So Almaty top the table with two games to go. Squeaky bum time...

PS The night was marred after when the thundering cunt of a groundsman made Alex, Jim and Jer stand around in the rain for 15 minutes before he opened up the athletics track so we could retrieve Pro Tiempo #2. It was worth it though. Those balls could be the secret weapon that sees Almaty emerge victorious in two weeks time...