Naughty but nine!
Almaty's injury crisis deepened as Gav "Crouchy" Jeffers damaged his hamstring whilst playing a foreign game (the Gaffer handed him the maximum two week's wages for this indiscretion). Alex "I'm not 15 stone" O'Donovan was also ruled out for this week's fixture as his groin failed to heal in time despite a weekend away in Venice and some hands-on physio! Tadhg "Bigman" O'Connell was also on the missing list this week - apparently he was seen photographed in Croatia on his yacht with a few bottles of Moet and a few honies. Jim "I can score from any angle" Butler allegedly dropped a bottle of mayo on his foot Monday evening thus ruling himself out also. Morgan "Axel" Foley also failed a late fitness test. As a result, Johnny "T" Enright was given a recall and Antony "Gaffer" Spratt was forced into an early return. Minutes before the transfer deadline, Dan "Inc-man" O'Connell was registered as an Almaty player. "I've been waiting for this phone call for weeks. I don't know how they've overlooked my talents in previous weeks. I'll show them what they've been missing out on."
The opposition tonight were the lowly Kings of Neon who Almaty had beaten 5-0 earlier on this season. The team started brightly. Johnny T was busy upfront; Galvin lively on the left; Billy bustling on the right; Espey commanding midfield and Spratt composed at the back. After ten minutes play Almaty got their reward for their good play. John T slotting home after some good work from James G. They were to make it two a few minutes later when Spratt made one of his trademark runs from defensive and finished coolly after a nice ball in from Johnny T. "One-touch" O'Connell was brought on as a substitute and 5 seconds later slotted home with his first touch. Almaty were cruising and "Safehands" Sweetnam was left with nothing to do but chat up the bird on the sideline. They made it four just before half-time when Johnny T got his second. It could have been a lot more but some wayward shooting by the midfield general kept the scoreline down.
In the second half Almaty shifted into fifth gear. Johnny T secured the match-ball with his third of the game... (5-0), then Johnny T scored again... (6-0), and again (7-0).... snore... and again (8-0). Much to the dismay of "Lamps" on the sidelines, Johnny T had now scored as many goals in 40 mins as "Lamps" had all season! Kings of Neon were given a dodgy free-kick by the somewhat absurd referee ("No need to call an ambulance!"). They rifled the ball into the top corner giving "Safehands" no chance. Almaty were to make it nine when Spratt finished off a great move which involved "Tricks" Galvin down the right. With seconds to go on the clock, the Kings of Neon striker/fat-guy picked up the ball about twenty yards out; turned and shot. The ball rocketed along the ground at 5mph; serving in the prevailing winds and somehow managed to squeeze its way through "Safehands" legs. Enough said.
League leaders Viscount won two-nil but the goals Almaty has created a gulf in the goal difference between the two teams. Three games to go...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Week 9: AA 1 Wildcats 2
Almaty went one up in first half but conceded two in second half. Johnny “T” missed a hatful of chances.
Gay Tadhg and Gay Alex abandoned the team for a gay outing to Lionel Ritchie concert.
Goal-scorer:
Phil Smith
Gay Tadhg and Gay Alex abandoned the team for a gay outing to Lionel Ritchie concert.
Goal-scorer:
Phil Smith
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