Resilient Almaty Return To Summit
Almaty had to dig deep last night to get back to winning ways after the desperately disappointing display against Whitfords in Match Day 7. To compound matters, Almaty were shorn of "Dribbling" James Galvin, Jer "Lovehand(le)s" Sweetnam and, in a late withdrawal, Billy "Mad Dog" Murphy. Apparently he forgot he was going to Italy until the day before the game...
Desperate to start well for once, Alex "Geometric Shapes" O'Donovan rallied the depleted squad. Ant "SafeGafferHands" Spratt volunteered to go in goal for the first half, promising a much improved delivery from the back!
Almaty started quite well. Fuzzball were handy enough, a useful blend of "experienced" defenders with two "tricky" forwards. And by "experienced" I mean old fat geezers, and by "tricky" I mean young fit fairly skillful scobies...
Almaty managed to get the passing going quite well, but in the absence of James "Pace" G, we were missing a bit of, er, pace. But Almaty were patient and chances were coming. Gav "Crouchy" Jeffery in particular was getting a hatful of opportunities but the Fuzzball keeper was in inspired form, though he declined to use his hands much. "Safeshins" if you will...
Eventually the breakthrough came, Almaty in scoring first shocker! A good spell of possession and passing saw Alex "Lines" O'Donovan work it to "Lamps" in the inside left channel. "Lamps" squared it to "Crouchy" who clung it in the top right corner from just outside the box.
Almaty never do anything the easy way of course (not counting the walkover against Pints which was, let's face it, fairly easy...) and we managed to fuck up soon after. "Lamps" squandered possession cheaply around the half-way mark allowing a Fuzzball player to make progress up the right. Nonetheless, there looked to be little danger when the little scobie lad let fly from near the touchline, but the ball rocketed past "SafeGafferHands" and nestled in the top corner. A great strike.
Almaty continued to attack and had numerous chances. "Crouchy" hit the post and had more opportunities saved by the keeper.
Another quiet Almaty half-time as the shame kicked in. Alex "Trigonometry" O'Donovan outlined his grand vision for the second half and whatever he said, it worked. Almaty were much hungrier and more urgent. The passing was sharper and chances were coming thick and fast. "Lamps" trademark screamer from wide on the left duly came and went, smashing the inside of the far post and coming out. One of the scobes in the Liverpool shirts even commiserated with Lamps.
But Almaty weren't to be denied. Staying patient, the breakthrough came, and a great goal it was. Alex "Don't pass to me when you're running at me!" O'Donovan, running down the middle towards Gav, passed it to him. Gav had made a great run in from the right and got on the end of the pass. It was great composure from O'Donovan to find the pass considering he must have been knackered after being on the pitch for more than his usual 17 minute allocation.
The game wasn't over yet though. The security blanket of the third goal proved elusive. "SafeGafferHands" wanted to come out from goal but "Lamps" didn't really want to go in goal with the score delicately poised. Almaty lost their way slightly when Alex "Row Z" O'Donovan blazed his beloved Nike Tiempo Classic® II FIFA Match Ball Size 5 into a tree outside the ground. The replacement balls were substandard and caused a loss of cohesion in the interplay...
Almaty got used to the kiddies ball eventually and finally could relax when "Crouchy" completed his hat-trick, beating his man then scoring with his left foot while falling over, baby giraffe-like.
Fuzzball were a broken side by now and there were plenty of goals to be had, even though there was not much time left. Espey scored with a trademark drive and Alex "25 minutes effort" O'Donovan scored the goal of the game. A great team move saw the now-outfield Gaffer find Morgan on the left, Morgan switched play to "SP" on the right, "SP" rolled the ball down the line to "Crouchy"'s feet and he laid it off to Alex who was rushing through the centre, for once beating the fat lad for pace...
5-1 in the end, and a much improved performance from Almaty. After the match, "Gaffer" attributed the victory and performance to Almaty's "fitness, dominance, determination and patience".
Results elsewhere went Almaty's way with table-topping rivals Whitford and Slievenamon drawing 2-2, meaning Almaty return to the top of the pile. Citco, meanwhile, slumped to a dispiriting 9-1 defeat, and to compound their woes, talismanic Citco legend Nigel "Nige" Wilkins will miss the next two matches.
As for Almaty, it was a good all-round display with the goals shared out among three of the lads, with Tadhg "Hit me" O'Connell hitting the post twice. Morgan "Axel" Foley also had a great game both going forward and with superb, tireless tracking back. "SafeGafferHands" was solid in goal, and luckily none of his mad dashes out of his area ended in tears...
"Gaffer" and Tadhg are now jetting off to Vegas for a well-earned mid-season break (that blog post will write itself...) meaning Almaty's strength in depth will be tested for next week's clash with The Codgers who nicked a draw in the match earlier in the season. James "Romantic getaway with the lads" G will still be enjoying spectacular sunsets in Santorini next week also so Dr Phil may be recalled from his loan spell with This Is A Made Up Name FC.
Fanatical Almaty Athletic fans spilled onto the streets of the country's second city last night as the boys in blue clinched their first ever title at the hands of hapless Whitfords. In a delightful show of support the natives crammed onto the city's main street and fired multiple rounds from their Kalashnikovs into the air in celebration. A heavy army presence and a more restrained approach to victory resulted in a mere 9 fatalities amidst the rapturous scenes. Indeed authorities must be pleased that the death count was considerably down on the bloodbath of 2004 when Astana Astros won their fourth Central Asian Gypsy Clubbing Title.
In a tense evening, Almaty ultimately romped to a comfortable 7-0 victory and that, along with Slievenamon’s draw last week (which meant they didn't have to rely on those useless Citco feckers who lost 4-1 last night), was enough to secure the league in some style. Once again Almaty started without Morgan 'Who Are Ya' Foley and Jim 'London’s Calling' Butler. Joining them on the sidelines was Alex '56 Days' O'Donovan, who is keen to extend his injury free run by, er, not playing again. Ever. Despite the absentees the line up was a familiar one, with Gav 'Czech Mate' Jeffery leading the line, SP in the middle, and “Tiger” O'Connell, “Gaffer” Spratt, and James “Kazakhstan’s Next Top Model” Galvin at the back. Billy “What About Me” Murphy completed the seven. Again Almaty started tentatively, and, with the game delicately poised, Safehands was called into action twice to repel long range efforts from Whitfords. Soon, though, “Tiger” and “Gaffer” tightened up and Safehands was not called upon again. Instead Almaty gradually took control of the game; and the season. Closely following the script of previous weeks, they went on to miss a series of guilt edged chances. Particularly culpable were Ant “Two Left Feet” Spratt and Gav "Did the Czech Bounce?” Jeffery, who both spurned easy opportunities. 
It was no surprise, however, when a determined SP finally slammed in the first mid way through the first half. Almaty continued to press and grabbed a deserved second before half time. Whitfords were a shadow of the team that did near terminal damage to Almaty’s title charge mid-season and, as news filtered through of Slievenamon's predicament, Almaty relaxed in the second half and thoroughly destroyed their opponents. “A Score is a Score” Jeffery grabbed another three, SP one and “Gaffer” one as the Kazakh maestros ran riot in a flawless display of champagne showboating, which included at least two back heeled finishes. 
With the breakthrough secured, Almaty relaxed and began to produce better football. Pints tired and Almaty could ping the ball about a bit more. The critical third goal came when Crouchy and Lamps linked up. Crouchy stepped over a ball from defence, Lamps took it forward before playing Crouchy in, and he pinged it home from an acute angle. There was some doubt about the goal but Crouchy was adamant and Grĕgôrçzs was convinced.
The only notable absentee from last week is player manager Gaffer. In his quest to add more letters to the end of his name Gaffer is undertaking some more examinations (FIFA have insisted that all astro league managers must now obtain the FIFA Coaching Licence by 2009). However if Jer "Haagen Dazs" Sweethands is detained at work, Gaffer is on standby to reprise his goalkeeping heroics of the game against whoever it was we played when he went in goal. Thus it seems likely that Gaffer is set to prolong his agonising run of 0 goals this season.
O’Donovan slipped it to the left of the on rushing keeper and hooked his foot around the ball to slot home as “OK it was two slices” Butler arrived on the scene like, er, an express train to join in the celebrations in a most David May-like manner…
After almost of year of separation, Jim "Lamps" Butler, is to be reunited with his close cousin, Johnny "T" Enright.
For the first time this season, Almaty kept a clean shut-out in standing up to and beating the physical challenge of FC Codger who played to a tie the last time the two teams met.
The Almaty has now earned twenty one points in its last 9 games games (7-1-1). The team is now finding form at its spiritual CIT home this season and maintains its hold on second place in the Astro Conference standings with the league’s joint best record overall (7-1-1, 21 pts.).
