Week 14: Almaty Athletic 1 Viscount 1

Almaty suffer final day torment
After an opening day hammering few could have dreamt that Almaty would take the season to the final day but as the roller coaster season progressed it became increasingly apparent that this was exactly what would happen.
The injuries and absences which blighted Almaty’s season continued last night as both “Ballack” O’Donovan and “Tiger” O’Connell missed out on the showdown. Nevertheless, Jim “Harry Kewell” Butler recovered from his heel injury just in time to take his place in the starting line up, meaning Almaty had a beefy squad of 9 to choose from.
Needing to win by two clear goals (Yes Gav, 2; not 3; you see if we win by 2 then we improve our goal difference by 2 theirs is reduced by 2 – as a Liverpool veteran of ’89 I’m surprised at you!), Almaty started tentatively. From an early stage it became apparent that Viscount were intent on slowing the game to their pace. Delayed free kicks “accidentally” taken from the wrong place, minor injury disruptions and slow at kick outs all contributed to their attempts to disrupt Almaty’s dangerous fluidity.
The increasingly excitable referee, who would later play a central role in proceedings, dished out several vocal warnings on foot of some cynical Viscount defending, but stopped short of issuing the ultimate punishment.
As the first half progressed the game developed into an even contest, with the contrasting styles becoming increasingly apparent. Viscount, eager to protect their advantage, focused on a dour long ball war of attrition. Almaty, by far the most skilful and inventive team in the league, remained undeterred and persevered with their neat passing game. Half chances were spurned at both ends as both keepers made comfortable saves.
Despite a number of further chances for both teams, nothing separated them at half time. Almaty again started the second half brightly and created another chance. Viscount’s big keeper was having an increasing prominent role as time and time again he thwarted Almaty’s prolific forwards. Then, from nothing, Viscount borke free. A shot from the edge of the area fizzed over and “Tricks” Galvin, in a last ditch attempt to prevent the shot, connected with the dangerous Viscount striker. Using all of his experience, the silver haired prick lay prostrate on the turf, clutching whichever part of his anatomy was most convenient. The referee, who up until that point had refrained from brandishing yellow, had no hesitation this time. “Tricks’” sending off was even harsher considering he had been the primary recipient of Viscount’s roughhouse tactics. Alamty’s punishment was severe. From the ensuing free kick Viscount took advantage of Almaty’s lack of numbers to pounce at the far post.
You’d think that Viscount’s comfortable position would have allowed them to play a more attractive brand of football, however they persevered with their increasingly ugly brand hoofball from back to front. Despite their tactics they were a talented side and were always dangerous, even as Almaty, undeterred by the size of the mountain that they now faced, continued to press hard. Viscount’s giant oaf of a keeper was having a stormer.
With 10 minutes remaining “Tricks”, back on the pitch after his brief suspension, broke away to fire a low into the net from some distance. 1-1! Almaty, buoyed by finally having beaten the keeper, pressed hard again. But, as time ticked away it became clear that it just wasn’t going to be their day as the Viscount keeper continued to use his considerable frame to prevent Almaty from even sniffing the two goal advantage that would have given them the title.
As the final whistle blew and Viscount celebrated, thoughts wandered back to that opening day crushing and the meek surrender of a 1-0 lead later in the season; not to mention the Jens Lehmann-esque bloopers and the Emile Hesky-esque finishing in other games which combined to cost Almaty that extra goal which might have made all the difference in the end.
Football, bloody hell…

Week 13: Almaty Athletic 8 Fans of Canta 0

AA turned on the style in their penultimate game of the season as they thumped Fans of Canta by eight goals to no reply. It was no coincidence that Gav "Crouchy" Jeffery returned to the fold after two weeks absence with a dodgy hamstring. However, AA were missing Alex "Old man" O'Donovan due to other commitments.
AA started the game brightly and dominated first half possession (80% according to Sky Sports!). Their patience was reward when John "T" Enright opened the scoring; finishing off a superb move which involved 20 consecutive passes (olè!). AA then made it 2-0 shortly afterwards with another from John "T". Just before half-time John "Yes you guessed it again" Enright secured his hat-trick.
There was much the same in the second half... John "I'm brilliant" Enright bagged another brace; "Crouch" got a brace and Spratt also nicked one. The highlight of the game was "Clean Sheets" Sweetnam who pulled off a number of excellent saves to deny Fans of Canta any consolation goal. AA fans were heard chanting "There's only one Safe-Hands... etc. etc.
All in all it was one of AA's best performances of the season. The back trio of Moggy, SP and Billy marshaled the defence, whilst James G provided the legs and tricks all over the pitch. However, there was disappointment for AA fans as news filtered through that league leaders had notched up a 10-0 victory. So, not only to AA have to win their final game against Viscount but they now have to win by a margin of two goals to lift the ultimate prize!

Week 12: AA 6 That’s Entertainment FC 5

Jeckell & Hyde
As the season has progressed so has the length of Almaty’s injury list. Missing this week was top-scorer “Crouch” Jeffers and Morgan “Dead-Leg” Foley. Jim “Limps” Butler and Alex “I’m not 15 stone” O’Donovan were also doubtful but were listed in the squad as emergency substitutes. However, “Have a go” O’Connell was back from his week’s sojourn to Eastern Europe.

Almaty fans were in a state of shock as they saw their team concede two within the first 10 mins with no reply. The first came direct from a free kick – apparently “Safehands” Sweetnam got an A1 in his Leaving Cert for Honours Maths but this has been cast in doubt! The second came as “Big-man” O’Connell passed the ball direct to the That’s Entertainment striker who finished neatly. (O’Connell was subsequently checked for sun-stroke at half-time.)

“Gaffer” Spratt then introduced himself and managed to bag two goals to brings things level after he was played through twice by “Unselfish” Enright. They created a number of other chances but were denied by some great saves from That’s Entertainment’s keeper.

However, Almaty were to shoot themselves in the foot again (and literally for Jim “Limps” Butler as he had to go off injured) as Spratt took a throw-in; threw it to “Safehands” Sweetnam who then pondered before generously passing the ball to the That’s Entertainment striker. (Sweetnam was subsequently given a random breath-test at half-time.)

That’s Entertainment nearly scored again as a shot smashed off the cross-bar. Almaty leveled again with a neat goal from James Galvin with “Unselfish” Enright again the provider.

Things became heated at half-time with harsh words from the Gaffer thankfully they had their required effect as Almaty came out storming in the second half. Alex “Ballack” O’Donovan broke through and finished well to give Almaty the lead for the first time in the game. Espey then came up trumps with an absolute rasper from the right touchline.

Almaty then made things difficult for themselves when That’s Entertainment’s keeper speculatively hit a long-ball up the field; the ball then got a headed flick-on and sailed up (at least to a height of 7ft) over “Seaman” Sweetnam and then dropped into the goal (2ft high goal). Almaty regained their two goal cushion with another classy goal from Espey.

UPDATE:
Here's a crude representation of the above events...


With a minute left on the clock, a rush of blood to the head saw Spratt give away a penalty for handball. Idiot! The penalty was converted. Almaty kicked-off and the ball was played back to Spratt who managed to lose possession but Sweetnam saved well to prevent a catastrophe.

In a post match interview, Johnny “T” was asked was he disappointed not to add to his tally of goals and to explain how he missed an open goal from one yard out: “F*ck, I’m sh*t an b*llox unselfish p*nis player”.

League leaders, Viscount, earned three points as they were awarded a walkover. Almaty could be regretting leaking five goals as their goal difference was narrowed. Two games to go!

Week 11: AA 9 Kings of Neon 2

Naughty but nine!
Almaty's injury crisis deepened as Gav "Crouchy" Jeffers damaged his hamstring whilst playing a foreign game (the Gaffer handed him the maximum two week's wages for this indiscretion). Alex "I'm not 15 stone" O'Donovan was also ruled out for this week's fixture as his groin failed to heal in time despite a weekend away in Venice and some hands-on physio! Tadhg "Bigman" O'Connell was also on the missing list this week - apparently he was seen photographed in Croatia on his yacht with a few bottles of Moet and a few honies. Jim "I can score from any angle" Butler allegedly dropped a bottle of mayo on his foot Monday evening thus ruling himself out also. Morgan "Axel" Foley also failed a late fitness test. As a result, Johnny "T" Enright was given a recall and Antony "Gaffer" Spratt was forced into an early return. Minutes before the transfer deadline, Dan "Inc-man" O'Connell was registered as an Almaty player. "I've been waiting for this phone call for weeks. I don't know how they've overlooked my talents in previous weeks. I'll show them what they've been missing out on."

The opposition tonight were the lowly Kings of Neon who Almaty had beaten 5-0 earlier on this season. The team started brightly. Johnny T was busy upfront; Galvin lively on the left; Billy bustling on the right; Espey commanding midfield and Spratt composed at the back. After ten minutes play Almaty got their reward for their good play. John T slotting home after some good work from James G. They were to make it two a few minutes later when Spratt made one of his trademark runs from defensive and finished coolly after a nice ball in from Johnny T. "One-touch" O'Connell was brought on as a substitute and 5 seconds later slotted home with his first touch. Almaty were cruising and "Safehands" Sweetnam was left with nothing to do but chat up the bird on the sideline. They made it four just before half-time when Johnny T got his second. It could have been a lot more but some wayward shooting by the midfield general kept the scoreline down.

In the second half Almaty shifted into fifth gear. Johnny T secured the match-ball with his third of the game... (5-0), then Johnny T scored again... (6-0), and again (7-0).... snore... and again (8-0). Much to the dismay of "Lamps" on the sidelines, Johnny T had now scored as many goals in 40 mins as "Lamps" had all season! Kings of Neon were given a dodgy free-kick by the somewhat absurd referee ("No need to call an ambulance!"). They rifled the ball into the top corner giving "Safehands" no chance. Almaty were to make it nine when Spratt finished off a great move which involved "Tricks" Galvin down the right. With seconds to go on the clock, the Kings of Neon striker/fat-guy picked up the ball about twenty yards out; turned and shot. The ball rocketed along the ground at 5mph; serving in the prevailing winds and somehow managed to squeeze its way through "Safehands" legs. Enough said.

League leaders Viscount won two-nil but the goals Almaty has created a gulf in the goal difference between the two teams. Three games to go...

Week 10: AA 6 Fan of Canta 0

The bandwagon rolls on…

Gav Jeffery 3
Jim Butler 2
James G 1

Week 9: AA 1 Wildcats 2

Almaty went one up in first half but conceded two in second half. Johnny “T” missed a hatful of chances.
Gay Tadhg and Gay Alex abandoned the team for a gay outing to Lionel Ritchie concert.

Goal-scorer:
Phil Smith

Week 8: AA 6 Below Average Joes 1

Almaty Close Gap after Stunning Revenge Mission
Still bruised after last week’s narrow defeat to table toppers, Viscount, Almaty took the field against the only other team to defeat them in the opening round of games with revenge very much on their minds. Axel Foley returned to the squad after prolonged hamstring trouble to replace the injured Spratt. Apart from that the AA’s line out had a decidedly settled look about it; and it showed from the start. Below Average Joes, so fluid and quick in week one, were a shadow of the side that delivered that particular hammering. Or perhaps it was the case that AA, chastened from the defeat, have learned the lessons that were on offer.
Either way AA started well and were one up within 10 minutes as “Tricks” Galvin, in his first meaningful contribution, won the ball in midfield, broke away from a flat footed defense and slotted the ball past a hapless keeper. AA continued to press and doubled their advantage when a driven cross-field pass from Jimmy “Lamps” Butler found Gav “Crouchy” Jeffery, who controlled and finished brilliantly. With AA in control, and BAJs clearly rattled by their inability to respond, the game took a nasty turn as a self styled “Maradona” reacted badly to an Alex “Ballack” O’Donovan tackle. “Ballack”, on a warning for a previous misdemeanor, would spend five minutes in the bin for his latest offence. But nothing could excuse “Maradona’s” response as he senselessly lunged at “Ballack” with the shoulder. A disgraceful 12 man brawl ensued (actual punches: zero; actual soccer style “hold me back” histrionics: 12). With calm restored, both teams were reduced to 5 men for a five minute period. On another day though, “Maradona”, would have seen red, and in this regard referees must be given more leeway to use their common sense. What we need is consistency at the end of the day.
The second half began where the first had ended and it was no surprise when “Ballack” O’Donovan, back on the pitch after his part in the first half melee, added to his season’s tally with a deflected shot. A brief and uncharacteristic spot of lazy defending saw BAJ reduce the deficit to 3-1 but AA were not to be denied as they found another gear to comfortably put paid to any lingering BAJ hopes of an unlikely comeback. The fourth came from “Crouchy”, who finished superbly from a tight angle after the keeper had saved well from a powerful left footed drive from “Axel” Foley. “Lamps” Butler bagged the fifth form an even tighter angle after an elaborate free kick routine on the edge of the area saw “Tricks” dummy and “JT” Espey fire wide from the ensuing shot only to find “Lamps” in space on the end line. An excellent finish was marred for the second week running by a ridiculous celebration which saw “Lamps” skip, clap, and congratulate himself, in one horrifying moment of madness. As goal celebrations continue to spiral into the extravagant referees really will have to start clamping down on this sort of behaviour from such roll models.
A wonderful Zidane from “Tricks” saw him once again break away from a now dispirited BAJ defense. This time he released “Crouchy” who completed his hat-trick, and the rout, to make it 6-1.
AA spirits were lifted still further as news filtered through of a surprise defeat for Viscount. So the gap is now three and the probability of a final day showdown grows ever more likely. Hansen’s opening day of the season jibe that “you’ll never win anything with unfit overweight alcoholic granddads” is beginning to look more and more ridiculous with every passing game…

Week 7: AA 0 Viscount 2

AA's fans left the stadium Wed night with heavy hearts after a two nil defeat to the league leaders, Viscount.

The game was very combative with both teams given each other very little time on the ball. AA edged the first half but were guilty of wasting some precious chances. Most notably, after a superb through ball from James G, Spratt managed to get the ball caught under his feet when through one on one with the keeper. A slick move culminated in Billy finding Jim unmarked in the corner… alas the angle was too tight and the keeper made the save. Just before the break AA's Spratt collided with his fellow team-mates, Gav. A crack was heard and Spratt fell to the ground in pain. Unfortunately, for AA fans their enigmatic player/gaffer was unable to continue. After being well on top the lengthy delay for the injury destroyed AA's momentum.

Viscount kicked off the second half and a lapse of concentration resulted in the usually solid AA defence leaking a goal. AA battled hard and came close on a number of occasions but were denied by the Viscount keeper who picked up the man of the match award. Their best effort came from a bicycle kick from an agile Gav that just shaved the post. As AA surged forward in search of the vital equaliser they were punished by a soft goal. "Safehands" was beaten at his near post... apparently a streaker had distracted him!

There was further disappointment for the AA faithful yesterday as reports came through confirming that Spratt had indeed suffered a break to his hand; sidelining him for the next four games.

Week 6: AA 5 Fan of Canta 2

They say the mark of a top side is when they can grind out a win without playing well, and that was the case last night as Almaty Athletic won their fifth game on the bounce against a physical and at times ill-disciplined ‘Fan of Canta’… AA lined up in their usual 3-1-1 formation, with James G returning to the side in place of the missing Alex O’D.

AA started reasonably well but were wasteful in front of goal… typified by Jim “Lamps” Butler. At one stage, a sweeping ball across the width of the pitch was coming to me, I focused on the flight of the ball, picked my spot, concentrated on keeping it low, and started to pull the trigger… With my face locked in concentration, the ball was just about to arrive and I was poised to make contact… “HAVE A SHOT JIM!” shouted Gav… What the f*ck?!?!?! And the ball was shanked wide… cheers Gav!

Unfortunately there’s no excuse for the free kick debacle… the plan was to bend it in the 6 inch gap between the wall and the post with the outside of the right boot… so what if the ball was wider than 6 inches! So what if Gav had an open goal square of me! Instead, well, you know the rest…

There was also another attempt on ‘goal’ which went out for a throw in (and the ball into the car park), and their keeper decided to make one decent save when I was through on goal … all in all, classic “Lamps”…
\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\> \u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\>Anyway, enough about me… AA broke with\ntradition this week and actually scored first, James G finding the net… Sorry\nJames, can’t remember the goal… Fan of Canta huffed and puffed but\ndidn’t create much. Ant was marshalling the defence, and made sure we\nkept tight to ‘Number 19’. AA had a few trademark breaks and slick\nmoves, but in general we were dragged down to their level. Fan of Canta then scored\nout of nothing when a long throw caught out the defence and with Safehands\nstranded, ‘Number 19’ was on hand to slot home.\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\>\u003cbr\>\nAA are made of stern stuff however and we kept to the gameplan. We managed to\nget back in front before the interval, Gav rediscovering his goalscoring touch\nafter an erratic display in front of goal last week (specifically, that header\nover the bar from 1 yard!). He looked lovely in his United top too it must be\nsaid! 2-1 at half time. \u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\> \u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\>In the second half, the game became very scrappy with\nsome heavy challenges going in by ‘Number 19’ and their lad in\nnavy. He got into a bit of trouble with the ref and in truth could have been\nsent off. The ref finally took action to stamp his authority on the game after\nyet another reducer by yer man on James G… by warning Safehands about\nkeeping his mouth shut!\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\> \u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\>\u003cspan lang\u003d\"EN-IE\" style\u003d\"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial\"\>AA rose above it all though and killed the game. Gav\nfinished expertly into the corner after James G set him up. Next, James G and\nJim broke through, and though it went against every bone in his body, James G\nreluctantly decided against the drouble drag-back followed by the\nsidefoot-from-behind-the-other",1]
);
//-->


Anyway, enough about me… AA broke with tradition this week and actually scored first, James G finding the net… Sorry James, can’t remember the goal… Fan of Canta huffed and puffed but didn’t create much. Ant was marshalling the defence, and made sure we kept tight to ‘Number 19’. AA had a few trademark breaks and slick moves, but in general we were dragged down to their level. Fan of Canta then scored out of nothing when a long throw caught out the defence and with Safehands stranded, ‘Number 19’ was on hand to slot home.
AA are made of stern stuff however and we kept to the game plan. We managed to get back in front before the interval, Gav rediscovering his goal scoring touch after an erratic display in front of goal last week (specifically, that header over the bar from 1 yard!). He looked lovely in his United top too it must be said! 2-1 at half time.

In the second half, the game became very scrappy with some heavy challenges going in by ‘Number 19’ and their lad in navy. He got into a bit of trouble with the ref and in truth could have been sent off. The ref finally took action to stamp his authority on the game after yet another reducer by yer man on James G… by warning Safehands about keeping his mouth shut!

AA rose above it all though and killed the game. Gav finished expertly into the corner after James G set him up. Next, James G and Jim broke through, and though it went against every bone in his body, James G reluctantly decided against the double drag-back followed by the sidefoot-from-behind-the-other -leg, instead squaring for a tap in for “Lamps” (who resisted the temptation to wheel away, cupping his ear at the section of supporters who had been on his back…) Incredibly, he did the same a few minutes later, Espey capping another superb performance with a goal.

All in all, a solid performance with the knowledge that there is plenty more in us. Attacking, James G with a goal and 3 assists did well, as did Gav with a brace. The defence coped with ‘Number 19’ who was everywhere… Safehands had a good game despite conceding a second at the death. One great save when the ball smacked his face…
Next week, the make or break clash with table-toppers Viscount.
Safehands Sweetnam
“Lamps”
Ant “Pick up Number 19!” Spratt
Keith “The Rock” Espey
Billy “Mr Dependable” Murphy
Tadhg “Tiger” McTadhg
James “G” Galvin
Gav “Have a shot Jim!” Jeffery

Week 5: AA 5 That’s Entertainment FC 1

Another week, another win…
Winning is a habit, or something, and Almaty have it pretty bad at the moment. This time, up against third placed “That’s Entertainment”, not even the concession of an early goal could stop the Almaty machine, as they brushed aside the challenge with a resounding 5-1 victory.
This week James “Tricks” Galvin was suffering from the drawbacks of being a dual-coder, inexplicably deciding to play with the egg chasers instead. Morgan “Axel” Foley, with ongoing hamstring trouble, was the other noticeable absentee. Jim “Djimi/Lamps” Butler and Billy “Dinny Irwin” Murphy were welcomed back into the fold after a week of “R&R” and Tadhg “Big Man” O’Connell also retained his place.
After it was pointed out that “these lads look a much better outfit than last week’s lot”, Almaty actually started tentatively. They were punished early when Jim “Djimi” Butler was caught dwelling on the ball at left back, conceding a needless corner. From the subsequent delivery, Almaty’s uncharacteristic inability to clear was punished with a fine finish.
Undeterred, Almaty grew into the game, and were level soon afterwards. Jim “Lamps” Butler, atoning for his earlier error, picked the ball up on the left and, from some distance, drove the ball high into the top right hand corner. An exceptional finish. From then until half time Almaty went on to play some of their best football of the season, with some sublime one and two touch stuff, with Alex “Ballack” O’Donovan as the pivot and Gav “Crouchy” Jeffery as the focal point up front. They were soon rewarded with fine finish from attacking right back Billy “Dinny Irwin” Murphy. Half time: 2-1 to Almaty.
The second half continued where the first had ended. Almaty took complete control as “That’s Entertainment”, reduced to speculative long ball tactics, wilted under the onslaught. Further goals from “Gaffer” Spratt, “Ballack” O’Donovan and Keith “JT” Espey gave Almaty an unassailable 5-1 lead. And it could have been more were it not for another handful of spurned chances, the most wasteful from “Crouchy” Jeffery, who somehow managed to head over an open goal from a couple of yards with the keeper no where in sight.
It’s now four wins on the bounce for Almaty and, with “JT” Espey marshalling a rock solid defense, “Ballack” O’Donovan providing the link in midfield and “Crouchy” continuing to offer magnet-like target up front, a title challenge is surely on the cards…

Week 4: AA 5 Kings of Neon 0

Having won their previous two games Almaty faced Kings of Neon last night in what was to be an important game in decide whether they would be in the hunt for Silverware come August. The squad was somewhat depleted this week with Jim "Sober-up" Butler rumoured to be recovering in a detox centre in Malta after a heavy June Bank Holiday weekend. All three of the Murphy brothers were also out of the equation due to various reasons. To compound matters Morgan "Axel" Foley failed a late fitness test. However, the squad was bolstered by the return of Espey after a two week spell out with an STD. Tadhg "Fat-man" O'Connell was also signed minutes before the transfer deadline.

The game started at a sluggish pace given the soaring temperatures. However, Almaty soon buckled down and started producing some quality football. As Almaty began to dominate possession frustration begun to creep in to Kings of Neon's game. Almaty's breakthrough came on the 13th minute. O'Donovan broke from midfield and put in a superb cross for Jeffery who got his shot in target but was denied by a hand ball. The eagle-eyed ref blew for a spotter which Jeffery converted with style and penance. Almaty soon doubled their lead when Spratt made a trade-mark run from the back and was played through by a perfectly waited pass by Galvin. Spratt took one touch and let rip with a low drive into the bottom corner; giving the keeper no chance! Just before the break Almaty were to extend their lead even further when O'Donovan beat two players and then rounded the keeper to finish a brilliant individual goal. However, there were some protestations from Neon's keeper who claimed to have been fouled.

Neon started the second half with some early pressure but some stout defending by O'Connell, Espey and Co. kept Neon's strikers at bay and gave "Safehands" Sweetnam nothing to do. Almaty created a hat-full of chances in the 2nd half but were only able to convert two of these. Espey got his first of the campaign when he hammered a ball against the post which then deflected against the crossbar and into the net. Some superb vision by "Safehands" meant that Galvin was released on the left. He then crossed for Jeffery who finished smartly to make it five. The crowd wanted six but unfortunately that was not to be.

The Gaffer was delighted with the performance and was quoted as saying "Excellent performance. Some brilliant football played. When we set a good pace and work hard there's no stopping us!"

Week 3: AA 6 SLB 2

AA continued their winning ways with a resounding 6-2 performance against the cryptically-named 'slb' in difficult circumstances… a bizarre referee (this guy's younger brother perhaps: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86AJje3ElDc) and a cynical opposition who went down far too easily. You don't want to see that creeping into the game…
Despite being patently superior, AA made things difficult by conceding a speculative goal early on. In truth, they laboured to equalise, spurning chance after chance through poor finishing and bad decision-making in the final third… It was difficult to establish a rhythm with erratic refereeing, including several foul throws! But with half-time looming, Ant "Gaffer" Spratt justified his MVP billing and £1,000,000 price tag with a rampaging run forward from defence. A perfectly weighted pass invited him to run on and Spratt produced a stunning finish with the outside of the right boot under not inconsiderable pressure from the keeper… (Though when quizzed after, Spratt thought he had scuffed it with his left…)
After the interval, AA kept applying the pressure against a tiring team with the revolutionary 3-1-1 formation proving highly effective, and indeed the breakthrough wasn't long in coming. James Murphy, in a Henrik Larsson-esque cameo appearance for AA, displayed good composure to finish at the second time of asking after his first effort came back off the post. With 'slb' forced to attack, AA were able to pick them off on the break with a series of flowing moves. John Murphy picked up another brace while Jim Butler scored arguably the pick of the goals (!) (ED: Definitely up for debate?!), deftly finishing after great work down the right by James M. Alex O'Donovan rounded things off by expertly rounding (fittingly) the keeper and slotting home to make it 6. There followed a polite exchange between Alex and one of the 'slb' players who had taken issue with a 'foul' by Alex earlier.
All in all, it was a good workmanlike performance by AA, despite the last-minute consolation goal by 'slb'.
1. "Safehands" Sweetnam
2. Jim "Crowd favourite" Butler
3. Gav "Calm and collected" Jeffery
4. Ant "Gaffer" Spratt
5. James "Tricks" Galvin
6. James "Hit it long" Murphy
7. Billy "Solid as a rock" Murphy
8. John "Doesn't stop running" Murphy
9. Alex "Wizard" O'Donovan
Goal scorers: Spratt, John Murphy x 2, James Murphy, Jim Butler, Alex O'Donovan

Week 2: AA 5 Wildcats 2

Week 2: AA 5 Wildcats 2
Almaty Athletic put last week's disastrous start behind them by winning comprehensively against Wildcats 5-2.
They started with pace and purpose and got their early reward when Galvin finished off a superb team move. They quickly added to their lead with a well-taken goal from John Murphy. Wildcats pulled a goal back when slack defending left their left full back in unmarked to finish well.
At half-time the statistics showed that Almaty had 75% possession but only a one goal lead. However, Almaty were to convert their possession into goals in the second half. John Murphy exposed Wildcats defence on the break and finished with finesse to make it 3-1. Galvin also bamboozled their defense to make it four.
Wildcats then managed to pull one back to put the pressure on Almaty for the last 10 mins. Their hopes were dashed when some excellent vision from "Safehands" Sweetnam spotted the Wildcats keeper off his line. His kick took one bounce and sailed straight over the keeper's head and straight into the net.
The Gaffer was delighted with the improved performance and had this to say after the game: "Great team performance. A lot livelier all round. John Murphy's pace was a great addition up front. It was also great to see Spratt making his comeback though he was a bit rusty. The absent players will have to put in some extra training if they are to reclaim their places next week!"

Week 1: AA 0 Below Average Joes 6

Disaster!