Monday, February 4, 2008

ALMATY ACE IN NEW SEX TEXT SHAME


EXCLUSIVE: BY HARRY HARRIS

  • Lewd Texts accidentally sent to TEAMMATE
  • “SP” admits: I have GIRLFRIEND
  • Girl vows: I’ll stand by disgraced star

Full story pages: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13.

Almaty Athletic were once again embroiled in controversy after details emerged last night of yet another sex scandal involving one of its star players. Hot on the heals of last year’s disgraceful Edinburgh and South American controversies comes reports that Keith “SP” Espey, accidentally TEXTED a TEAMMATE details of his lurid sex life. The raunchy text, which I have exclusive access to, DID (not) contain details of group sex, dogging, spit roasting, hookers or six-a-bed romps but did contain references to a mysterious “sexy lady”.

“Lamps” Butler, a long time teammate of SP’s and recipient of the offending text last night revealed how it had scarred him. A source close to the player said: “He was shocked and appalled at the content of the text. He’s a quiet lad, does his bit of charity work, doesn’t get out much, is generally pretty celibate and having to read such lurid details of his teammate’s sex life has knocked him for six.”

Meanwhile the unnamed girl at the centre of the text message row last night vowed to stand by her man. When contacted a pal commented, “She is absolutely devastated that this has come out. But she loves Keith very much and really wants to make a go of it.” And then the bombshell: “Yes, I can confirm that they are indeed ‘going out’”

THE SUN SAYS:

How much more of this sort of behaviour can the Irish public stomach? SP is a role model for today’s youth. What message does his ‘settling down’ send out to our young people? That’s it ok to have a steady girlfriend? That group sex, dogging, spit roasting, hookers or six-a-bed romps are no longer acceptable? We should be appalled that such a high profile star has turned his back on his sordid past.

TEXT US:

Do you have an SP story? Have you received one of his texts? Are you his girlfriend? Text us on 55055 SPSEXSHAME and we’ll publish it!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Almaty Athletic relaunched!!!

Alright lads, the blog has been revamped and relaunched... check back soon for details of the Almaty night out (target date 2012), Lionel Richie concert details, more gay pictures of Gaffer, Safehands and the crew... and speaking of which, who knows, maybe even details of the epic clash between Almaty v Alex's Bum Chums...

Comments are now open to all, even Alex's bum chums, so let us know what's going on!

Gaffer rewards Safehands for another heroic display of goalkeeping...



This is the only known image of Almaty 'in action' in 2007!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

60

The great free-kick debate...

After Ronaldo’s free-kick last night a “little debate” has started in the office. Here’s a few to get ye going (in no particularly order):

Roberto Carlos – Brazil vs France
David Beckham – England vs Greece
Ronaldinho – Brazil vs Germany

Unfortunately, none of the links to Ronaldo’s free-kick last night are opening for me on youtube (hence its exclusion from the list above)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Recruitment

As the new season is approaching the Gaffer is looking for new talent to ensure Almaty fulfill their potential and win some silverware. With Johnny T Enright departing for foreign soils and James Murph moving to the Pale the squad is somewhat depleted. The Gaffer is also conscious of the fact that the average age of the squad is quite high. Jim “Lamps” Butler and Alex “Vote for me” O’Donovan both will be both in their thirties come the opening game of the season and there are concerns that their legs may not be able to make playing two games in two weeks. Tadhg “Fats” O’Connell is also reportedly 5 stone overweight and his pre-season training has been hampered by a groin injury.

So, if you think you are good enough...

Call the Gaffer on 1800 G-A-F-F-E-R

Monday, January 21, 2008

Almaty team night out

A date for Almaty's team night out has yet to be confirmed. A tribunal has been investigating rumours that Gaffer Spratt had absconded with the team night-out fund. Spratt has strenuously denied any embezzlement accusations!

An opposition has been lined-up for a friendly game prior to the team night-out... Alex's Bum-chums (aka Citco Catholics!).

A Friday evening has been suggested as the night... date TBC